the child grows enormous but never grows up
Elliott Smith - High Times
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Tim Lahan

nicholas pilato

*Man, that’s some tasty eating.


*Man, that’s some tasty eating.


Cross-section through the area where an nerve axon creates neurotransmitters

A synapse has two sides; this is axon terminal, the side where neurotransmitter chemicals are produced and released. Neurotransmitters are packaged into vesicles beneath the synaptic terminal’s membrane. [WP]

(A) A section through the synaptic bouton [that is, the synaptic terminal] indicating 60 proteins.

(B) High-zoom view of the active zone area.

(C) High-zoom view of one vesicle within the vesicle cluster.

(D) High-zoom view of a section of the plasma membrane in the vicinity of the active zone.
      Clusters of syntaxin (yellow) and SNAP 25 (red) are visible, as well as a recently fused synaptic vesicle (top).

Displayed synaptic vesicles have a diameter of 42 nm.

Science 30 May 2014: Vol. 344 no. 6187 pp. 1023-1028 //  ”Composition of isolated synaptic boutons reveals the amounts of vesicle trafficking proteins.” Benjamin G. Wilhelm

Read Virginia Hughes write-up of this articleNow THIS Is a Synapse


(I wonder if my intense desire to find the truth — the end of truth — has finally eclipsed the truth itself. Or meddling intellect perhaps misshapes the beauteous forms of things. We murder to dissect. My mind is a tangled knot I can no longer untie, daily I fight the urge to sever it completely, to stop this descent.)

in time of all sweet things beyond
whatever mind may comprehend,
remember seek (forgetting find) and in a mystery to be
(when time from time shall set us free)
forgetting me, remember me
E.E. Cummings, 16 (via stxxz)


I’d like a holiday where the theme is you have to talk or write about what are the key emotional valences and arguments of the people whose views you find most repugnant and distasteful, and what’s considered successful and cool on this holiday is presenting them in the most sympathetic light, and you have to emerge with one little thing however small that you’re going to sign onto that you hadn’t before, or you don’t get to eat dinner, and dinner is really good, and it doesn’t count if it’s some bullshit way of sneaking up on your ideological enemies from behind, and it’s not about reaching some imaginary land of facile ‘moderation’ or difference-splitting, it’s about my side, usually the right side, would get better and we could use words for something other than whatever good feeling it is that people get from pissed-off solidarity that I was apparently born more or less unable to take pleasure in



…When I did my Master’s degree in 2009 I really thought I could make a fresh start. I was going back to my alma mater, but I told myself that this time it would be different. I would be friendly, popular, outgoing. I would be relaxed, affable. I would be fun. I would be the kind of person with whom people wanted to be friends. People would come and knock on my door just to talk to me! I’d even started this cool blog (the one which you are reading now) but that was going to be my secret internet persona, only to be shared with those closest to me.

And I screwed it up! I screwed it up completely. I said stupid things that scared and alienated people. Some of them thought I was mad. The invitations dried up. Other people found their own level, and I went off on my own. I ended up burying myself deeper in my studies. I did quite well at that regard; not exceptionally well, but I did all right. And I wasted a chance to be a different, better person.

Since then I have come to accept a different version of myself: I am a person who just doesn’t really have a social life, and who doesn’t try especially hard to make friends. This actually runs contrary to many of the things I think about the nature of personality, and how nobody ever really grows up or stops changing as a person, and how you shouldn’t use the fact that you suffered as a child to hold you back in later life; but whatever. As we like to say at work: we are where we are…